We need validation to know we are on the right path, that our desires and dreams are not completely crazy, our action plans are sound and that we are not alone in our suffering. Ideally we can give some of this to ourselves. But a significant chunk will need to come from others.
Lots of pain is created because we expect our loved ones
to provide this validation and they are unable to do so. It’s not because they are horrible people but because their own fears are holding them back or they don’t understand our goals in the first place.
However they don’t need to give us all the validation we need. Today, more than ever before are we able to connect with people based on our interests. We can make new friends on platforms like Meetup.com or attend events based on our interests.
We don’t need to know the people who belong to this new tribe of ours or even speak to them. We can read their books to get inspired or inform our plans and listen to their talks to know that we are not alone in our suffering.
These people understand us in ways that perhaps our loved ones never will. Being around them in person or just by engaging with their work will give you lots of validation, which means you can relax more around your loved ones and probably enjoy them more as well.