How would you treat someone who came running as fast as she could and said: ‘watch out, this person is not taking you seriously and if you don’t do something now, things will not pan out the way you had agreed it would.’ If this warning were true I would be grateful to the messenger.
We all get such messages, multiple times a day. Yet more often than not instead of taking action we
a) ignore the messenger b) make the messenger go away and c) control the messenger. These messengers are your emotions.
Which is why when I get season’s greetings which remind me to ‘never be angry with your family’ or ‘you don’t have the right to be sad’ or any of that I wonder whether the author of those words understands what he or she is telling us: ‘be an actor’ and ‘lie to everyone including and especially to yourself’.
I prefer to thank the messengers, investigate and then take action. If I keep getting false alarms it means that something inside of me triggers the messenger which needs attention, like for example a fundamental insecurity. That is never ever cured by tightly regulating my emotions. Not doing this is basically like screaming at the smoke detector instead of getting out of the burning building. Your emotions are the smoke detector.