Other people can be a quick-fix to happiness: they can make us laugh, feel safe and if we’re lucky even ecstatic. All of these things are wonderful but they bear a dangerous seed: that we use other people as an easy way out. When someone makes us happy we might not feel a deep need to learn happiness habits such as meditating, getting enough fresh air or learning new things to keep growing. One person can replace all of those things and that usually does not stay that way forever. Once things fade a little bit and our happiness levels go down it’s very tempting to blame the other person. If they behaved differently we would still be perfectly happy. Except it’s not really fair towards them. People making us happy is a bonus. When we take the responsibility for our own happiness and see everything that comes from others as a wonderful encore we take a huge burden out of our relationships. Nobody can do this 100% of the time. But we can try to get better at it.
If you have another few minutes to invest in your happiness skills why not check-out the Positive Psychology Podcast? Just say “Play the Positive Psychology Podcast”