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Whenever you explain an event to yourself you choose a path. Each of these paths will bring you to a different place. Choosing the path is not easy. Usually we ask ourselves: will this path protect me from harm? And even if we have no evidence if the answer is even remotely yes that is often our choice.
Yet a lot of these paths make our lives smaller because they narrow our choices. Why not choose the explanations which strengthen us in the future to make the choices curiosity, vitality and passion would make?
‘Oh he just wants attention’ is something that is commonly said about kids and sometimes adults. It’s an indication that one can safely ignore and carry on. Yet if someone needs attention, including you, why not give it? We often withhold things, because we feel someone will demand more than we can give, be it attention, time or other resources. But unless something is really wrong, most of us are not that unreasonable with what they request from others. Why not focus on this kind of generosity?
If you are struggling to maintain a habit try to tie it to something you do every day. Whenever you know precisely when and where you are going to do something it’s more likely you will follow through. You probably know this already. Do you use this knowledge though?
Certain exercises and practices only become useful once we have repeated them a few times. We don’t only have relationships with people but also with exercises and habits. These relationships can evolve when we repeatedly do things.
The reason why people often abandon things that would ultimately be helpful is that they don’t see this relationship going anywhere. It’s sometimes hard to know when an exercise is truly not for us and we should abandon it for another one and when we need to let the relationship we have towards that exercise evolve, so it can unfold its true potential.
If pure repetition doesn’t help you to move through resistance but you really would like to establish a habit it may be helpful to honestly open up about your struggles to a peer. Sometimes an off-the-cuff remark is all you need because it can give you hope, inspiration or help you reframe.