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Our brain specialized in making super quick judgements of situations and other people. It’s super helpful to have a bad gut feeling when you’re fraternizing with a serial killer or someone trying to take your money off you, but since that’s not most people’s goal, it often leads to harsh judgment. Based on snap assumptions we think we know a person and have already sorted them into the appropriate box.
One antidote to doing this is to think about the result of your interaction instead. If you’re on a date instead of thinking ‘he’s clearly a freak’ what if you think instead ‘our interactions don’t flow’ or ‘there is no ease when we’re together’. That not only acknowledges that each and everyone of us has a part in the interactions we have but also is a helpful alternative to making harsh judgements.